


Graduation and Other Meltdowns

by scrods



Series: School Daze [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, Suggestive Themes, just two sad bois tryna make each other happy, sort of? but just for like a hot sec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrods/pseuds/scrods
Summary: Sequel to School Daze!Graduation is rapidly approaching, and Goro's losing it. At least he has Akira to keep him sane (or, well, saner).





	Graduation and Other Meltdowns

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaand I'm back! already! (I couldn't stay away) (and what better time to write self-indulgent fanfic than when u should be working on a major research paper u haven't started :))))
> 
> ANYWAY here's the second installment in the school daze universe-- if you haven't read the first story, please go check that one out first!  
> I decided to shake it up a lil and incorporate both akira's and goro's POVs in this one oooh ahhh
> 
> I hope it's as fun for you as it was for me writing it :') enjoy!

Keying into his apartment, Goro let out a sigh as he left his shoes in the genkan and went over to drop his bag on the small kitchen table. It’d been a long day, and he was beat. On top of classes, it’d been a busy afternoon at the tutoring center and he hadn’t been able to catch a proper break all day. Thank God he was done for the day, but with how utterly burnt out he felt, it’s not like he had the energy to do more than just flop onto his bed and bury his face in his pillow anyway. He didn’t want to fall asleep and risk ruining his sleep schedule and being unable to sleep later on… Not that that was anything unusual for him. But he figured he should probably try to avoid doing that. Especially now that he had other options… Goro bit his lip and thought about texting Akira.

 _Akira_ … A smile spread across his face as he thought about the other boy.

The past few months had been good to them. They officially got together at the end of last semester, and it’d only gotten better and better from then on. Goro felt himself blush and buried his face further into his pillow. Akira… had completely changed his life. Gone were the days of suffocating but resigned loneliness. He’d long felt that there was no changing it, he just wasn't wired to form close relationships. Either way, he came with too much baggage and too little control of his emotions for that kind of thing.

At least, that _was_ what he’d thought—up until he met Akira. Somehow, this boy managed to completely uproot that long-held belief of Goro’s and worm his way effortlessly into his life, his thoughts, his dreams. Soon enough, Goro found himself falling hard. It was inevitable, he realized. It was like they were fated to be together all along, and there was no stopping fate. With Akira, Goro’s defensive shield started cracking upon that first classroom debate. It wasn’t long before the cracks started to accumulate little by little until—his shield shattered altogether. And when it did, Akira was there for him throughout his whole embarrassing breakdown where he spilled his thoughts and fears and anxieties—but, ever-surprising him, Akira met all of it with kind words and a gentle voice and soft touches. It baffled Goro. He’d never—truly, _never_ , been met with such care and kindness. People like him didn’t deserve that.

Well— Akira didn’t seem to agree. Consistently, he met Goro with fierce insistence that _no, actually, he deserved as much kindness and love and care as anybody else, no matter who he was_. And—Goro just couldn’t comprehend it at first. That certainly hadn’t been what he was ever told throughout his life, and in his (admittedly warped) worldview it just wasn’t true. And—he saw how sad Akira’s eyes got when he expressed these things and felt a pang of guilt. But somehow, Akira took it like a champ. Always amazing him. Like everything else, he just… understood. Being truly _seen_ and validated was an entirely foreign sensation to Goro, but certainly not an unpleasant one.

Now that Goro had gotten a taste of real love and acceptance, he couldn’t get enough. It took so much of his well-honed discipline not to text Akira every second of the day or follow him around campus like a lost puppy. He admitted he might be a little affection-starved. Not to mention touch-starved. Goro found himself pitifully longing for Akira’s embrace practically every waking moment of the day. Nothing compared to the way they would tangle their legs together while cuddling, or the times when one would tuck his head under the other’s chin during a catnap, or how Goro would lay his head in Akira’s lap and let him run his fingers through his hair while they watched Start Trek… _aaaand_ Goro’s mind was getting off track again. Anyway, he really, _really_ liked Akira, was the point.

He cherished their time together like a precious gift. The evenings they spent eating takeout or Akira’s cooking together, smiling and laughing and leaning into each other. Their outings to sweets shops, the park, tiny cafés around the city, wherever they happened to wander. Studying together—though Akira was quite the distraction, so Goro never expected to get much done during these sessions. Even just laying around one of their places in each other’s arms (which was, truthfully, the usual, them both being quiet homebodies by nature). It was all fine by them, so long as they were together.

Having Akira in his life just made everything better. Not that there weren’t still stresses and problems and things to panic about… but knowing he had someone to lean on changed his whole perspective on things.

Speaking of problems, though, the one major one (that spurred countless other little ones) in Goro’s life was his impending graduation. It had been consuming him, especially so in recent months. He didn’t have much time left to tie up loose ends, ensure he ends on a high note by graduating with honors, wrap up research collaborations with his professors, etc… And then, what happened after? For perhaps the first time in his life he didn’t have a solid plan in place far in advance. In fact, he still didn’t even have the faintest inkling of one. And it was driving him utterly mad with panic and uncertainty. What happened after he was finally completely done with what he’d been dedicating his life and everything he had to for years? After…. came nothing. Well, not _nothing_. There was always grad school. It was the expectation, in fact. But… did he want that? Was he… physically or mentally capable of going on with school any longer without stopping? Frankly, it was a terrifying thought. A thought that seemed to grow with every passing day until it was giant and black and towering over Goro, casting him in its massive shadow. Threatening to consume him.

Did he even have a choice? What else would he do? Was he just doomed to live the rest of his life as one long, self-destructive race to his death with no breaks or room for negotiation? If he stopped to catch his breath for one moment, would he fall behind and be unable to get back up? Would he lose all sense of purpose? Would he no longer be able to fill every waking moment of his life with work and responsibilities and mindless buzz to distract himself from his own dangerous black hole of a mind? What would be the point? Was it even worth trying at all if either way he was probably destined to crash and burn?

Aaaaand—he was spiraling. Great. Goro came back to the present for a second to find himself breathing fast and heavy, curled up on his bed with his heart pounding. _God. Fucking great._ He looked down at his hands to find them clenched and shaking, and he took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. In through the nose for four seconds. Hold for seven. Release over eight until your lungs are fully empty. Repeat.

 _Stop thinking about it. You’re destroying yourself. Get your mind off of it._ Goro thought about what Akira would say if he were here. _‘Hey. Breathe. It’s okay,’_ probably. ‘ _Breathe with me. You can squeeze my hand_ ,’ too. But Akira wasn’t here right now… Goro still closed his eyes and tried to picture him as he breathed.

 _Akira_ … Goro wondered if he was busy. There was nothing he hated more than asking for help, and he so desperately did not want to become a burden to Akira. _He didn’t sign up to be my emotional rock or coach me through meltdowns on the regular. He shouldn’t have to constantly reassure me and hug me and tell me it’s all going to be alright…_ But still. It helped. So much. And Akira always told him over and over that he wanted to be there for him… Goro whined softly into his pillow, mind churning relentlessly, before making up his mind with a decisive sigh.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up his messaging app, selecting Akira’s name (his most recent contact, of course).

> **Me** (18:49)—Hi

Thankfully, he got back to him right away. Goro relaxed his tense muscles, the relief just at seeing his name palpable.

> **Akira** (18:50)—goro? hey u whats up
> 
> **Akira** (18:50)—everything ok?

Goro huffed affectionately. Of course he could tell something was wrong just through that one-word text message. He supposed it _was_ unusual for him to send such a vague, short message of greeting though... Goro paused before answering.

> **Me** (18:52)—Are you around right now
> 
> **Me** (18:52)— *?
> 
> **Akira** (18:53)—absolutely. want me to come over?
> 
> **Akira** (18:53)—i can cook if u havent eaten yet

Goro let out a long sigh of relief. His heart felt warm and his breathing had slowed a little. He was so grateful for Akira.

> **Me** (18:53)—Yes
> 
> **Me** (18:54)—You’re the best
> 
> **Akira** (18:54)— <3 <3 <3 :* :* ;)
> 
> **Akira** (18:54)—be over in like 10-15

 

Goro opened the door and stood back to let Akira in once he arrived. His boyfriend was carrying a small bag, presumably of ingredients, and he set it down on the kitchen counter before walking back over to Goro. He stepped in close and wrapped his arms around Goro, hands settling over the small of his back.

“Hey,” he said, muffled a little by his face in Goro’s neck.

“Hey…” Goro felt a small smile grow across his face in spite of his frazzled nerves and burnt-out emotions.

Akira pulled back after a moment, keeping his hands on Goro’s waist and his concerned face close to the other’s.  “What’s up? You look kind of really dead.”

Goro snorted. “Wow, thanks. But… uh, yeah. I’m…” he trailed off awkwardly, avoiding Akira’s eyes.

Akira, like always, seemed to read his mind and he reached down and squeezed Goro’s hands in both of his. “Wanna sit down and talk?” he asked, and when Goro nodded he pulled him gently to the couch. They settled in, Goro under one of Akira’s arms and laying his head on his shoulder. It felt amazing and warm and like the relief of stepping into a hot spring and sinking down in it to the neck.

Goro sighed and his eyes clouded over as he once again returned to the thoughts that’d been whirling around his head like a storm. “It’s just. Kind of the usual. The graduation thing… the whole grad school shitshow… me spiraling into a black hole and suffocating under the weight of five million pressures on my back. You know, that whole merry go round of good times,” he laughed humorlessly, and Akira made some kind of noise as he squeezed Goro tighter around the shoulders and nuzzled into his hair. “I… I’m so petrified of failing, Akira,” he started again in a small, unsteady voice. “I can’t. I can’t. It’s just not an option, you know?” his voice rose in volume a little. “But I feel like I’m bound to just break apart completely any day now and I won’t be able to keep going. I don’t even know how I’ve sustained this long… What if I fall short now? I—more than anyone else—have to prove myself and if I’m not perfect I might as well be a total failure—I mean, I might as well be dead, right?” he laughed a little hysterically, unable to control the flow of words now. Akira held him closer and he silently inhaled his calming scent.

“Hey… you’re okay. You’re okay,” Akira soothed, petting Goro’s hair. “Remember, your past doesn’t define you. You have no obligation to ‘prove yourself’ as someone with worth…” Goro sighed and nodded at the familiar words, leaning into Akira heavily. Ah yes, his past. After a long time of dancing around the subject, Goro had finally confided in Akira about his thoroughly fucked-up childhood spent bouncing from foster home to shitty foster home after his mother’s suicide. He never knew his asshole of a father, barely got to know his mother, and spent all of his formative years without forging a single bond. Goro had only ever known isolation and pain, even after ruthlessly driving himself into the ground for years in the effort to be perfect so _someone_ would want him around. Sure, he was popular among his professors and classmates on an entirely shallow level, but they didn’t know him or give half a shit about who he really was. Only Akira had shown him true kindness and interest in his real self… and hadn’t stopped even after learning about what a curse Goro’s existence was. He’d been so worried Akira would react with either disgust or pity, but he just… accepted it. Even though he’d clearly been upset to hear it, he didn’t treat Goro like he was weak or fragile… he just understood and met him with his support and belief in him.

Coming back to reality, Goro sighed. “Yeah… I’m sorr—” he paused and started over timidly. “…Thank you for coming over. And listening. Really.”

Akira brought both arms around Goro now and shifted to face him. “Of course. Goro, please don’t worry… I promise you’ll never be bothering me. You deserve support and care and a shoulder to lean on, and I’m always here for you, okay?” At this, he put both hands on Goro’s cheeks and directed his face up so he could look in Akira’s eyes. “You gotta know that. _Okay_?”

Goro snorted out a laugh, making an interesting sound with Akira squishing his cheeks like that. He broke out of his grasp and whacked Akira lightly on the arm. “Okay, you dork. Jesus,” he complained, but couldn’t hold back his smile and flush. Akira’s smile widened back at him, pleased and fond. “…Thanks. I really mean it when I say you’re the best,” he murmured shyly.

Akira leaned in closer, smile only growing, and nuzzled at his nose. “Only the best for my best.”

“Ugh,” Goro groaned.

Akira snorted and tilted his face in, catching Goro’s lips in a tender kiss. Goro sighed and leaned in, relishing the moment of intimacy. Facing Goro, Akira uncrossed his legs and brought them around Goro’s sides as they settled deeper into the kiss and let the seconds stretch on.

Finally breaking apart, Goro sighed again and leaned his forehead against Akira’s, gazing at him through his eyelashes. Akira opened his eyes and looked back. “You’re a really good kisser, do you know that?” he asked Goro seriously.

Goro laughed softly and turned his blushing face away. Akira grabbed it and turned it back again.

“But seriously.”

“Shhhh.”

They smiled at each other and rested their heads together. After a moment, Akira mumbled a quiet “Want to eat dinner and watch Star Trek?”  
“Mmmm,” Goro breathed with a smile. “Yeah.”

\--

Akira glanced at the clock and sighed. 12 pm. Thank God he didn’t have class until late afternoon today. Sleeping in may have been his favorite thing in the world. Besides Goro, that is.

Closing his eyes again and picturing his boyfriend, Akira smiled. How on Earth did he get so lucky? He’d never know, so he’d keep asking himself every day as long as Goro would have him.

As long as Goro would have him… so preferably forever. He wanted to keep Goro by his side as long as he possibly could. It truly was like they’d been made for each other… even the fit of their hands and the way their bodies melded to each other’s perfectly in sleep, no matter who was the big or little spoon.

But… what if “as long as Goro would have him” wasn’t that long? Akira couldn’t help it—ever since Goro’s graduation had been creeping steadily closer, he’d been worrying himself sick with doubt and uncertainty. What would happen after that? Sure, maybe they’d have the summer together, but what if Goro entered grad school and things just… fell apart? Maybe Goro wouldn’t break up with him outright, but what if things slowly fizzled out as they realized they couldn’t make it work? Goro would be busy; he’d be somewhere else—hell, he might leave the city altogether for all Akira knew. They’d grow apart slowly and painfully, which was even worse than ending things upfront. A slow, sad death of what was once an unbreakable bond…

Akira pulled his pillow over his head and frowned. Just thinking about the possibility stabbed at him with almost physical pain in his stomach, his heart, his head… He hated that he kept getting stuck in this train of thought, but he couldn’t help that it was a legitimate and ever more pressing concern. He didn’t want them to fall apart, not ever… And he knew Goro returned his feelings, but who knew what his thoughts were on what would happen later? He liked to think they had a powerful, steady bond, but what if he wasn’t enough to keep Goro happy?

And either way, he’d be facing next school year alone... Akira wasn’t much of a social butterfly and didn’t really make an effort to reach out to others—besides Goro, of course. Admittedly, it was his own mistake for isolating himself and holding everyone at arm’s length, but… making friends was hard. He was perfectly content to hole himself up in his room away from the world… even if it wasn’t exactly the healthiest thing. And that was the part that got him—he had Goro now, but what about next year when he was once again alone on campus? Sure, Goro lived right off campus (at least for now), but he probably needed to reach out a little and try to make some friends if he wanted to enjoy his last year…

Sighing into his pillow and pulling his blanket higher above his head, he continued to ruminate until his phone buzzed loudly on his night stand, breaking him out of his stormy reverie. Grabbing it and checking the time on the screen—Christ, he’d been laying here thinking himself into a bad mood for over half an hour—he unlocked the screen and sat up when he saw a message from Goro.

> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:47) — Hi Akira, are you around by any chance?
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:47) — I’m about to head to lunch in the main dining hall if you’d like to join me.

Akira felt a smile bloom on his face and his bad mood evaporate as he pulled up his keyboard to reply.

> **Me** (12:48)— yeah! I’ll head out in like 5 ♥
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:48) — Lovely.
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:49) —  < 3
> 
> **Me** (12:49)— no babe theres no space its just  <3
> 
> **Me** (12:49)— why don’t u have emojissss
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:50)— My phone isn’t capable of using them! You know this!
> 
> **Me** (12:50)— omg does that mean u don’t have any emojis around my contact name ;_;
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:51)— Obviously not!
> 
> **Me** (12:51)— WELL AT LEAST PUT A  <3 THERE OR SOMETHING
> 
> **Me** (12:51)— WHY DO U HATE ME U BIG JERK. IS THIS ANY WAY TO TREAT THE MAN OF UR DREAMS
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:52)— …I’m going to put a sad face next to your name instead.
> 
> **Me** (12:52)— BABE NO i didn’t mean it
> 
> **Me** (12:54)— …babe?
> 
> **Me** (12:55)— omg now i've really done it. i crossed the line
> 
> **Me** (12:55)— see u in like a min. i will make it up to u then ;)))
> 
> ♡ **Goro** ♡ (12:56)—Ugh.

\--

One thing that hadn’t changed over the course of their relationship was their status as study buddies. Sure, it wasn’t _exactly_ the same—it generally wasn’t during Goro’s official tutoring hours anymore (if he allowed that, way too many of his working hours would be monopolized by his boyfriend… and he figured he should probably remain professional on the job), and study sessions had _definitely_ increased in the amount of kissing, flirting, and other forms of not-studying they entailed. The only downside to studying with Akira: never actually getting much studying done.

Today, Goro found himself entwined in Akira’s limbs from behind as he attempted to pay attention to the dry, technical reading in front of him. He let out an exaggerated sigh.

 “When I say ‘studying,’ I do actually mean studying, you know. Well… mostly. But you’re making that rather difficult for me.”

“Yeah.”

“…Might you consider extricating yourself from me?”

“Nah.”

“Akira.”

“Goro.”

Goro narrowed his eyes at him challengingly. Akira stared right back with his impassive yet unfaltering gaze. Goro sighed, resigned. “You really are a distraction, you know that?”

Akira smiled triumphantly. He knew he’d won. Tightening his hold around Goro, he leaned back heavily until Goro fell backwards onto the floor with him. Letting him go so he could turn around and face him, Akira scooched back into Goro’s space with a smug grin. “Hey there.”

Goro’s stare was unamused, but Akira could see his lip twitching just slightly. “I hate you. You’re a nuisance.”

“Mmm, you sweet-talk me so good, babe.”

“Hush.”

“Make me.”

Goro growled. Akira grinned back at him. Rolling his eyes, he decided to take the bait and moved in to kiss Akira hard on the mouth. Akira responded instantly with a pleased hum, leaning into him and kissing back just as hard. Slowly, both boys’ muscles went slack as they lay there together kissing lazily for a few minutes.

Eventually, Goro pulled back and Akira let out a whine in protest. “Come baaaack…” he drawled, reaching out and pulling Goro into him closer.

Goro let out a small giggle, but held back (in spite of what he may have desired). “I don’t think so. You’re not going to convince me otherwise until you finish that assignment. It’s due tomorrow morning, remember?”

Akira let out a long, loud groan. “ _Goroooooo_ —”

“Nuh-uh. Don’t even try. Get it done, and then we’ll talk.”

“ _Have mercyyyyy_ —”

“…If you finish, you may just get a special reward.”

Akira trailed off from his whining at this. He squinted at Goro, who flashed back an innocent smile. “…I hate how effective that is.”

Goro laughed brightly and Akira broke into a warm grin of his own in response. “It’s the only way I can get you to do anything.”

“It’s _manipulative_. You’re taking advantage of me.”

“Taking advantage of your insatiable… thirst, was it?”

Akira groaned dramatically once again. “God. The one time I get to hear you use slang like ‘thirst,’ and you use it against me. I’m wounded,” he said, clutching at his heart.

Goro brought a hand to his mouth and hid his smile behind it. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll make sure it’s worth the pain and suffering.”

“I should _hope so_ ,” Akira sulked and slowly drew himself up from the floor to settle back into his work.

\--

As the days passed, things went on as usual for the most part. Unfortunately, Akira also noticed Goro growing increasingly exhausted and stressed as graduation snuck up closer and closer behind him. He was sleeping less, for sure— as bad as it’d gotten since they’d been dating. He also tended to forget to eat, throwing his meal patterns way off and only draining him further (Akira made sure he cooked or brought takeout over as often as possible, and sometimes he’d deliver Goro a homemade bento at the tutoring center or something, but he couldn’t control Goro’s diet _all_ the time). And that was all on top of his already shaky mental health. It worried Akira, but his attempts to encourage Goro to sleep and eat better fell on deaf ears. The boy was _stubborn_ , even if it was only doing him harm.

One day, after a particularly busy couple of days on Goro’s part where they couldn’t see each other, Akira waited for him at the on-campus café in anticipation. A few minutes after their planned meeting time, Goro shuffled inside and scanned the area before quickly locating Akira.

Akira sat up as Goro approached and deposited his bag on the small table he’d been waiting at. “Hey you,” he said with a grin, reaching out to take Goro’s hand. Goro accepted it and sat down in his seat across from Akira, laying their joined hands on the table by Akira’s still-steaming coffee.

“Hey,” he greeted with a tired sigh, but his fond smile was genuine.

Akira took in his appearance with a keen eye. The bags under Goro’s eyes (a relatively permanent feature) were especially pronounced today, and he looked pale and haggard. He was slumped in his seat like he was utterly devoid of energy, a stark contrast to his usual model posture. He folded his arms and laid his head down on the table, looking up tiredly at Akira. Akira frowned and leaned in, copying his stance. “You okay?” he asked skeptically.

Goro’s eyes closed as he let out a breath. “Mmm…” he answered, presumably in the affirmative. Akira prodded at his arm and frowned deeper.

“Are you _suuure_? You look like you’re falling asleep on me… Well, not that that’s anything unusual itself.”

“Shut up,” came muffled from within Goro’s folded arms. “M’good, just tired…”

Akira furrowed his brow. Goro could be so stubborn… He never wanted to admit weakness or accept help without some work on Akira’s part. “Hey, you’re done with classes for the day, right? Let’s go chill at my place, yeah?”

“Mmmm.” Goro picked his head up from his arms a little and opened his eyes at Akira. Akira reached in and booped his nose lightly. “Pfffft, stop,” he smirked with a light blush. _Fuck. How did I get such a cute boyfriend??? What the fuck?? #BLESSED. I can’t believe I get to boop his little ski-slope nose whenever I want. I love when it wrinkles up like that…_

Akira shook himself out of his daydreams and blinked. “Come on, let’s go,” he said with a tender smile. Slowly, they got up, and Akira slipped an arm around Goro’s waist as they left the café. Goro leaned into him heavily—unusual for him, considering his shyness about PDA. Akira sighed and ruffled his hair lightly. Poor Goro… something was off.

Before they could reach Akira’s dorm building, Goro stumbled a little, and Akira rushed to catch him before he could trip over. Heart kicking up, he tried to steady him at his side and wrapped Goro’s arm around his own neck.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s up? You okay?” Akira asked in a distressed rush.

Goro closed his eyes and leaned further into Akira. “Mmm…” His brows drew together before his knees suddenly gave out. Akira instinctively tensed his back and legs to support his weight as Goro slipped down a bit in his hold.

 _Shit, shit, shit_ — “Hey, hey. Woahhh there.” Akira looked around in a panic before dragging him a few steps to the nearest curb. Gently, he lowered him down to a seated position on the curb and held him up in his arms. “Goro?”

While his eyes were closed, Goro seemed to stir a bit and frown as he whimpered softly. Akira’s heart broke a little. “Akira…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. You okay?” _Stupid question_. “Um—listen, we’re really close to my room, so in a minute I’m going to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way, okay?” he asked in a nervous rush. He steeled himself for Goro’s loud squawk of complaint, but it never came as the boy only leaned in and hummed softly. _Yeah. If he doesn’t mind me carrying him grandly back to my room, he is definitely not okay_.

Slowly, Akira shifted him in his hold and placed his arms under his back and knees before shakily standing up with Goro in his arms. Taking a moment to settle him comfortably, he looked at Goro with concern. His eyes were still closed with a pained expression, and his head lolled back limply. Akira adjusted his hold to better support Goro’s head and began the short walk back to his room, lost in thought. _He’s so light… I need to feed him more of my curry. Maybe I should make a big batch so he has leftovers for a few days…_

Luckily, he didn’t pass many people on the walk—just a couple confused bystanders and the rather concerned desk attendant in his building. He took the elevator up to his floor and eventually reached his room, shifting Goro in his arms so he could dig his key out of his pocket.

Letting himself in, he closed the door with a sigh and walked over to deposit Goro gently onto his unmade bed. He watched him for a moment, unsure what to do, before snapping out of it. He threw a blanket over his boyfriend and adjusted it so it was covering his body completely, and then went to go fetch him some water. Coming back, he settled himself at the end of the bed, hugging his legs and leaning his chin on his knees.

After a few minutes, Goro shifted and let out a quiet noise. Slowly fluttering open his eyes, his gaze immediately locked onto Akira’s and his eyes widened. “Hm? What—?”

Akira tried to flash him a reassuring smile. “Hey there.”

“…Akira… I’m…” he looked around, confused. “In your room…”

“Yup. You sort of fainted, I guess? Remember? I mean, I know I’m just so overwhelmingly charming you can’t help but swoon, but damn… I must be better than I thought.”

Goro’s expression of distress melted quickly as he snorted, only for it to come right back. “Ah… That’s… unfortunate.”

Akira’s lips quirked up to one side. “This is why I’m constantly nagging at you to take care of yourself.” His smile faded. “Goro… I’m worried about you. You need to stop pushing yourself so hard…”

Goro looked away with a pinched frown. “I…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna keep lecturing you. But… I am worried, you know. I’m not letting you out of my sight until you’re feeling better, okay?” he said with determination, leaving no room for argument.

Goro sighed and sank back into the pillows. He knew there was no fighting it. “Okay…”

Akira spent the next few minutes forcing Goro to drink water and helping him out of his shoes and cardigan before curling up by his side on the small twin bed. They faced each other, Akira’s legs intertwining with Goro’s and his arm draped over his waist. “You really don’t look good, though…” he murmured with a worried frown. “How are you feeling?”

Goro cast his eyes down as he sunk further into Akira’s hold. “Um… I don’t know. Not… great?” he grimaced.

Akira shot him a sympathetic smile. He knew it wasn’t easy for Goro to be honest about how he was feeling, so he appreciated his attempts to try. “What else is bothering you? Pain? Stomach?”

“Hmm… I don’t know. Just weak… dizzy… My head is sort of pounding…”

Akira lifted a hand to Goro’s forehead and his eyebrows shot up. “Yikes.”

Goro winced. “No good?”

“You’re really hot…”

And somehow, in his state, Goro had the audacity to wink at him and drawl weakly, “mmm, not as hot as you.”

Akira paused, looking blankly at him. He hated himself for it, but every time Goro turned the tables and caught him off guard with some flirty line or another—no matter how half-assed— it tripped him up. (Goro’s personal favorite seemed to be making outrageous innuendos that were _way_ too conveniently worded to be innocent, all while sporting a blank, innocuous smile. It was an unfair advantage, Akira thought, using those well-honed acting skills against him. He had gotten much better at seeing past them, though… there was no hiding that tiny twinkle he got in his eye.)

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” Goro teased, lowering his eyes seductively at Akira, who couldn’t help his blush. He seemed to rejoice in having shifted the dynamic in his favor.

Akira grumbled a quiet “Shut up…” and Goro laughed.

“…I was going to say ‘make me’ but I just realized you probably shouldn’t be making out with me if I have a fever…”

“Hmmm… then it’s good I don’t really care,” he shot back and leaned in before Goro could protest. As their lips met, Goro whined in objection but quickly gave up and sunk into the kiss, making Akira smirk against his lips. “Too good to resist, eh?” he said when they broke apart. He had successfully turned the tables back.

Goro growled and blushed but made no move to deny it. Akira took this as a sign to continue, and he leaned back in.

After a minute or two of leisurely kissing, Goro pulled back with reluctance. “Um… seriously though, you _really_ shouldn’t be kissing me right now. You’re going to get sick too, you know.”

“Eh.”

“Wha—‘eh’ is not a sufficient answer, Akira!”

“…Whatever.”

“Neither is that!” Goro scoffed. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Oh yeah?” Akira murmured under his breath as he leaned back in and kissed Goro’s cheeks, nose, forehead, lips.

“Mmm… Akira… you… dumbass…”

“And yet you make no move to stop me.” He moved to Goro’s neck, kissing a trail down to his collarbone, just barely peeking out at the top of his collared shirt. He made to work open a button, then a second, and Goro swatted his hands away.

“A-Akira! I’m serious!” he insisted, fighting to keep his smile down.

Akira grinned. “Okay, okay... Only because you probably need sleep anyway.”

Goro rolled his eyes grandly. “Why do I even associate with you…”

“’Cuz you think I’m hot?”

“ _Ugh_.”

“I don’t hear a denial.”

“ _STOP_.”

Akira’s hands ran down Goro’s sides and landed on his waist. “Don’t worry, I think you’re hot too.”

“Oh my God…” Goro said to his pillow, face gracefully smushed in it.

Settling into a comfortable position, the two murmured back and forth quietly for a few minutes before Goro’s breathing slowly evened out. Akira watched him, sighing in open adoration, before closing his own eyes and drifting off.

\--

Goro woke up later in a cotton-y haze, taking a moment to orient himself before remembering where he was. Cracking open his eyes, he took in the small area of Akira’s dorm, drenched in golden late-afternoon sunlight. Turning over slowly, his eyes landed on Akira himself, standing a few paces away at his microwave.

“’kira…” he mumbled, still stuck in some of the haze of sleep.

Akira’s head whipped over at the noise and looked at Goro, who just closed his eyes once again and stretched his arms over his head. “Oh my god. You’re so _cuuuute_ ,” he whined.

Goro cracked open a single eye and shot him a look.

Akira came over to the side of the bed, ducking down and nuzzling Goro’s neck affectionately.

“Hey…” Goro protested weakly, not actually minding at all.

“How do you feel now?” he asked, kissing Goro’s neck.

He sighed. “Mostly the same, I think... Uh—well, no, worse. My head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and my body feels like it’s just ran a marathon or five…”

“Oh, babe…” Akira lifted his head and held a hand to Goro’s forehead once more, frowning as he felt the heat. “I might have some fever reducer around here…”

“It’s okay if you don’t… I probably have some at home. Or, well. Maybe not. I don’t know,” he frowned.

 “Hmm… well, I’ll look…” Akira said, biting a nail in concentration. He looked back up at Goro then. “Oh yeah— I was actually just about to wake you up anyway. I’m making you something to eat. Well… I’m just heating up a can of soup in the microwave. But it’ll be good for you, okay?”

Goro wrinkled his nose. “Not hungry…”

“Sorry, babe, but you gotta eat a little something. Doesn’t have to be a lot, but I promise you’ll feel better.”

Goro sighed. “…Fine…” He sat up shakily and leaned back against the pillows.

Akira brought over a steaming bowl and set it on the night stand before climbing onto the bed next to Goro and taking it back into his lap. Stirring, he slowly lifted the spoon and glanced up to an already-suspicious Goro.

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

Akira’s lips twitched. “Say ‘ahh’…”

“Nope. No. You are not feeding me.”

Akira turned up the act to ten and gave Goro his best puppy eyes. “But Goro…”

“That doesn’t _work on me_ , you _fool_.”

“ _Gorooooo_ ….. open up, just for me? Pleeease? Come on, here comes the plane—”

“Fucking—Akira, I swear to God—”

Akira made loud plane noises and obnoxiously prodded at Goro’s mouth with the spoon.

With a long-suffering sigh, Goro slumped and glared daggers at Akira before reluctantly opening his mouth. Akira cheered and “flew the plane” into his mouth. “The things I let you subject me to…”

“Once again, ‘cuz you think I’m hot. Comes with perks.”

This was met with a smack to the leg and Akira’s sparkling laughter. “Owww…”

“Oh, shove it. Who’s the victim here?”

With that, the two continued bantering and laughing as Akira fed Goro spoonful after spoonful of soup, both content just to be together.

\--

The next day, after Akira had deposited Goro back at his house with the strict orders to go straight to bed with a glass of water and some kind of snack at his bedside, he flopped into his own bed to get some shut-eye for a couple hours.

Drifting off, he thought of Goro. He hoped he’d take the medicine Akira forced on him… Stupid, reckless Goro. Akira would ingrain healthy self-care habits and self-worth into that boy’s head if it was the last thing he did (even if he didn’t really have them himself).

Akira woke up later— _much_ later than he had intended, going by how dark it was outside—to his own burgeoning headache. Oops. Hopefully that was just the effects of oversleeping and not the start of illness… _Well_ , Akira thought. _Even if it is, it was worth it_. Goro was always worth it. Deciding to eat something and mess around on his laptop for a while before bed, Akira figured he’d sleep on it and see.

The next morning… okay, afternoon (why get up before noon if you don’t have to, right?), Akira blearily blinked the sleep out of his eyes and glanced over at his alarm clock. _14:57_ , the block text read. Akira shot up in bed, immediately regretting it when his vision went black and his head spun. “Oooookay…” Laying back down slowly, he sighed and winced when his head pounded sharply upon hitting the pillow. _Welp_. “….I guess that’s what I get,” he mumbled aloud and let out a long sigh. Turning over on his side, he tugged the blanket higher, suddenly realizing how cold he was. Maybe he should’ve thought the whole making-out-with-his-sick-boyfriend thing through a little more, but… eh. Like he said, worth it.

Realizing once again how late in the day it was, Akira turned back over and grabbed his phone off the night stand in sudden panic. Turning it on to check if Goro had texted him, he stopped suddenly and got an idea. If they were _both_ sick… there was no excuse to stay away from each other now, eh? Might as well ride it out together. With a growing smile, he pulled up his messages and selected Goro’s name.

\--

Goro roused from his light dozing at the sound of his phone buzzing on his bedside table. Groaning as he stretched sore muscles out to grab it, he secured the device and turned the screen on to view his notifications.

 **Akira <3** (15:06)— hey babe

 **Akira <3 **(15:06)— how u feelin??

 **Me** (15:07)— Ugh

 **Me** (15:07)— I feel like I got hit by train. Like I’m in pain and everything

 **Me** (15:08)— How about you?? Has your own self-sealed fate come true and cursed you with my disgusting plague?

 **Akira <3 **(15:08)— ….coincidentally, i too feel as tho i’ve been hit by a train

 **Akira <3** (15:08)— cute, right? we match :)))

 **Me** (15:09)— Akira oh my god you dumbass

 **Me** (15:09)— I warned you!!

 **Akira <3** (15:09)— ehhhh

 **Akira <3** (15:09)— i stand by my words. worth it

 **Me** (15:10)— Christ. You and your primal urges…

 **Akira <3** (15:10)— hey it is objectively always worth it to make out with u. that’s just a fact, it has nothing to do w my primal urges

 **Me** (15:11)— Your lust will be your downfall

 **Me** (15:11)— You are the executioner of your own ruin

 **Akira <3** (15:11)— ya sure babe

 **Akira <3** (15:11)— my point still stands

 **Akira <3** (15:12)— listen there’s a major upside to all this though

 **Me** (15:12)— …

 **Akira <3** (15:12)— hear me out

 **Akira <3** (15:12)— now that the damage is done theres NO EXCUSE not to hang out and kiss all we want :)))

 **Me** (15:13)— Omg…

 **Akira <3** (15:13)— i mean its tru tho. cmoooon

 **Me** (15:14)— …

 **Me** (15:14)— I’m ONLY saying yes because having you around does make me feel better…

 **Me** (15:14)— But I still think you’re a fool and should be ashamed of yourself

 **Akira <3** (15:14)— !! :D :D :D i’ll leave in like 15 min

 **Akira <3** (15:16)— o fuck i forgot this means i have to actually drag myself out of bed and across campus

 **Akira <3** (15:16)— i might not make it babe

 **Akira <3** (15:17)— i leave my fortune to u if i die along the way

 **Me** (15:17)— Pffft what fortune. I don’t need your nasty pocket change

 **Akira <3** (15:17)— :( !!! my pocket change is not nasty

 **Akira <3** (15:17)— just a lil moldy and covered in sticky candy residue

 **Me** (15:18)— K bye

 **Akira <3** (15:18)— BBY PLEASE

 **Akira <3** (15:18)— anyway u cant say bye im coming over whether u want me or not >:3c

 **Me** (15:19)— Don’t make me regret it.

 **Akira <3** (15:19)— <3333 ;* ;* ;* mwah

 **Me** (15:19)— Don’t die on the way over

 **Me** (15:20)— I’ll be waiting  <3

\--

Laying together in Goro’s bed later, they took turns picking different shows to watch on Goro’s laptop and fought back and forth about whether the covers were way too hot or still nowhere near warm enough (there was no in-between).

“Mmm, isn’t being miserable better together?” Akira mumbled into Goro’s shoulder with a smile. The other boy scoffed.

“I mean… well, yes. But I might remind you that you didn’t _have_ to be laying around sick and miserable today too.”

“Alright, I think you deserve at least _some_ of the blame here. You put exactly zero effort into trying to stop me.”

Goro lifted his chin and sniffed airily. “You started it. It’s your body to take care of.”

“Mmm, but my body is _all yours_ , babe,” Akira leaned into Goro and winked ridiculously.

“We are not starting this again,” Goro warned and leaned farther away.

“Not my fault you walk right into my traps every time,” Akira said, following Goro’s lean all the way down to the bed and ending up on top of him.

Goro rolled his eyes from underneath Akira. “Fuck you.”

“Right now? Sure you’ve got the energy?”

Goro groaned extravagantly and rolled over to hide his face in the duvet. “Alright. I’ll admit I walked right into that one.”

“… So is that a no?”

Without removing his face from the duvet, Goro smacked Akira on the arm.

Laughing, he collapsed next to Goro on the bed and scooted closer so his chest was to Goro’s back. For a few minutes, they just lay there peacefully and let their show play on Goro’s laptop in the background, ignored.

Goro turned over and faced Akira. Akira looked into his eyes and smiled. Goro ducked his head down with a blush. “You know…” he trailed off, making no move to continue with his thought.

“…I know?”

“Um,” he said and hid his face in Akira’s chest. “I, like…” he paused and mumbled something incomprehensible into Akira’s shirt.

Akira smiled in amusement. “…Wanna repeat that to me instead of my shirt?”

Goro lifted his head and leveled Akira with a glare. “Shut up.” He lowered his eyes. “I said I, um… love you, you know…” he said in little more than a whisper.

Akira’s eyes widened and his heart gave a violent kick in his chest. His brain went into radio static mode and it took a second until he remembered that he should probably come back to Earth and answer his boyfriend. “You…” Ah well. Not the most eloquent answer, but it was a start.

Goro was looking a little panicked now. Akira could see the cogs turning rapidly in his head. “I—um, you don’t have to say it back, it’s okay if you don’t feel—”

Akira cut in before letting him suffer any more. “No! I… _Goro_ …” he melted into a doofy smile. “I love you too. Like… holy _shit,_ do I love you. So much. You wouldn’t even believe—”

“Okay, okay!” Goro interrupted, laughing and nuzzling his red face into Akira’s inky curls. “Akira…” he sighed contentedly. “You’re amazing…”

Akira’s heart was still beating wildly and he felt his face burning—not from the fever for once.  He swallowed and lifted a hand to the back of Goro’s head, running his fingers through silky-soft tresses. “Um…”

Goro, sensing his sudden nerves, removed his face from Akira’s hair and looked up into his eyes curiously. _Fuuuuck stop being so cute I’m struggling enough here_ —

“Goro… I. You’re amazing and wonderful and so perfect for me and. I just… I wanna be with you forev—for as long as you’ll have me. I feel like we have something so special and… I don’t know. I just really cherish it and want to stay together as long as possible… if you want, that is. I understand if—” Shit, he was rambling. _Do I keep going or quit while I’m behind_?...

Goro just blinked at him. “Well, duh.”

“… what?”

Goro raised an eyebrow and tilted his head with a smile. “Are you kidding? Of course I want to stay together. Isn’t it obvious that we’re like… made to be together?” he added this last part in a tiny voice, looking embarrassed at his own words.

Akira was kind of dumbstruck. “Oh.” He blinked. “I mean—yeah, _hell_ yeah,” he emphasized, feeling himself flush to the tips of his ears too. He couldn’t help his pleased grin. “Fuck. Shit. I love you so much, Goro…”

Goro hid his blushing face once more. “I love you too… I’m so lucky to have you.” He scooted in closer and squeezed Akira gently.

Akira’s heart melted and internal sirens blared. _Aaaahhh fuck fuck fuck he’s perfect fuck_ … “Me too. I just… Well, I wanted to make sure you knew… I didn’t know if—nevermind, don’t worry about it.”

“Hm? What is it?”

Akira sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just… With your graduation coming up, I’ve been… worried that you might want to break things off once you go off to grad school or whatever. Or that we’d just grow apart and it’d be shitty and sad and awful. And I’ve been… driving myself insane thinking about it.” Goro was watching him now, wide-eyed, but Akira kept talking before he could say anything. “And I want you to know that once you’ve moved on to bigger and better things, it’s okay if you want to, you know, be on your own or whatever. I really don’t want to drag you down when you’re off taking on the world and—”

Goro interrupted with a bark of incredulous laughter. “Drag me down? Are you kidding? Listen, Akira… honestly? It hasn’t even crossed my mind. Because I just assumed that _yeah_ , _of course_ we’d be together! I never even entertained the thought of breaking up—that is, unless you ever wanted to—” At this, Akira shook his head rapidly, and Goro laughed. “Okay, good. Well, either way, no matter what I’m doing next year you bet your _ass_ I want to be with you. Something silly like grad school would never get in our way,” he grinned affectionately. “Drag me down… God. All you ever do is lift me up,” he added shyly.

Akira didn’t realize he’d started crying a little until Goro’s face suddenly fell in panic and he reached in to wipe away his tears hurriedly. “Oh—” Akira sniffed and let out a sheepish laugh. “Haha, uh. Sorry.”

Goro pouted at him. “Hey, you hypocrite, what do you always tell me? Don’t apologize.” He shifted closer and touched his forehead to Akira’s tenderly.

Akira closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “Yeah,” he laughed. “You’re right. You’re totally right.” He took a deep breath and gazed into Goro’s eyes. “I’m just… really happy. Thank God you’re not sick of me already,” he added with a playful smirk.

Goro rolled his eyes. “Ha, as if. If anything, you should be sick of me. I’m the one constantly in crisis mode... Or just falling asleep on you constantly.”

“Hey, don’t even start. Us fighting about who’s _less worthy_ is not a productive train of thought to go down,” Akira smirked.

Goro laughed in response and nuzzled closer. “God, look at us. Two sick, miserable lumps laying around making everything sad.”

Akira hummed with a blooming smile. “Mmm, it’s okay. We can be miserable together.”

Goro giggled. “Sounds good. There’s no one I’d rather be my sad, fucked-up self with,” he said and leaned in for a kiss.

\--

The day of Goro’s graduation had finally arrived.

The weeks and days leading up to it had been rough, but so much better for having Akira around. He helped keep him level-headed and lent much-needed perspective, and when Goro _wasn’t_ level-headed (read: melting down) Akira was there to comfort him and pet his hair while watching Star Trek. More often than not these days, Akira would end up staying over Goro’s place (or vice versa when Goro couldn’t stand to be in his empty, dark apartment—though Akira’s influence now shone through in decorations on the walls, clothes strewn about haphazardly, the extra toothbrush in the bathroom…). A lot of tears were shed, but just as many kisses and hugs were shared between them too.

Having someone he could be himself around and just fully break down in front of… changed everything. He didn’t have to hide with Akira. Old habits die hard, but he was ever-so-slowly working on replacing them with healthier ones. Or trying, at least. It took time and effort to rewrite the faulty code your brain had been running on your whole life.

Speaking of rewriting faulty brain-code, Akira had been encouraging him to try out therapy for months now, and… he thought he was finally ready to give it a try, maybe over the summer. He’d started the process of looking into counseling centers nearby, and sometimes Akira would send him links to specific doctors or good articles or just ridiculous cat videos in an effort to help. Goro was so grateful to have him by his side… he was his rock, and in return Goro tried to be Akira’s. But he also didn’t want to lay all his burden on Akira… and an actual professional doctor was probably a good idea if he really wanted to start the long recovery process.

Goro brought his mind back to the present where he was sitting amongst throngs of his fellow students as the president of the university finished the final speech. Standing up and getting ready to toss their mortar boards, hundreds of students broke into cheers and let them fly as the ceremony came to a close. Goro watched his cap sail up through the air and smiled. A weight seemed to lift from his shoulders as he watched the people around him mill about excitedly. He was done… at least for some time. As much as he needed.

He had finally figured out his post-graduation plan. Instead of going straight into graduate school, he was going to take some time off for himself. He did want to continue his education—he was passionate about learning and couldn’t imagine stopping so early in his life. But he had a lot of “soul-searching” and self-improvement to do before he could do that in a stable, healthy mindset. In the mean-time, he’d try to find some part-time work… go to therapy… keep his mind fresh by studying regularly… and spend time with his favorite person.

Who, speak of the devil, Goro’s eyes landed on right at that moment. Akira was descending the bleachers with a giant smile directed at Goro, and Goro’s face immediately broke into one of his own. Picking up the pace, he wove through the crowd of graduates and met Akira in the middle.

He was swept up in a hug immediately upon reaching him, and he let out a delighted laugh as Akira spun him around. Akira lowered him to the ground and the two beamed at each other. “Congrats, grad.”

“Thanks. I can’t believe it…”

After snapping a few pictures of Goro and the two of them, the two began walking towards the exit where students were instructed to leave their caps and gowns. “Want to grab dinner? Your pick,” Akira insisted.

Goro smiled. “That sounds good… But… I’m beat. Maybe… we could just stay in and eat your curry for tonight?” he asked sheepishly.

Akira leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Absolutely. Anything you want, babe.”

And with that, the two boys joined hands in the light of the setting sun and walked off to start the rest of their life together.

**Author's Note:**

> :^) fuckin cheeseball ending but whatevs kiss my soft tender ass !  
> btw. as far as i know japanese students don't do the whole cap-and-gown shebang with the tossing of the mortar board but listen. don't even worry about it.
> 
> 'watching star trek and petting S/O's hair with their head in ur lap' taken directly from my own life lol :')
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed! <3 please let me know what you thought, if you're up to it!! 
> 
> I can't rly see adding more to this au since I think I've basically accomplished what I set out to do, but... it's kinda tempting... I got really invested in this universe lmao. let me know if you have any ideas or would like to see more, either way!
> 
> thanks so so much for reading!!! :*
> 
>  
> 
> PS- hmu me on twitter @scrodart!


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